How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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