i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
