I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
