I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
