turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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