And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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