just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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