Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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