I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize