They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
