the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
