what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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