Pappa wants mamma naked
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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