Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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