i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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