I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
