im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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