She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
