Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
