What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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