I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
