I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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