YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We had to coat check the pizza.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
