No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I puked a lego.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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