Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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