Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
