Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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