I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
