I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
