I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
