so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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