lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
