I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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