after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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