Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize