i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
