can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
