Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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