Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
