I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize