im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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