And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
