Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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