physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
