12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
