He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
