I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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