Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
