Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
