I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
