Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
