i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
