i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
