once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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