It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
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