Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
