I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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