he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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