I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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