Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
