You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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