I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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