He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize