Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
