Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
