I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
