so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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