DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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