P.S. I can't hear my feet
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
