what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
